I never have been great with time keeping. If I tell someone I’ll be ready in 5 minutes, it usually means I’ll be at least half an hour later. That’s probably why I’m writing this post in February and not the first week in January when everyone else was putting their’s up. If I’m totally honest, what with one thing and another going on at home, I really haven’t felt like thinking about the year ahead and making goals for myself or my blog.
It took a phone call, a book and 12 minutes of a film to make me realise what’s important in my life. Well actually the combination of all three that sent me into sheer panic and asking all sort’s of “What If?” questions. Half way through the film the female charactor talks about having her dessert first, then her main course, she goes on to explain that an asteroid could hit the earth or she could die without ever having had the one thing she really wanted in life. At this point, I had absolutely no idea what the film was about, assuming it was just a love story between a young couple. It wasn’t until much later on that it all became clear. The film is called Remember Me.
Which brings me to the reason why this post has the title it does and doesn’t include the words Goals or Resolutions. The minute I write those kinds of list I start to put too much pressure on myself and feel like I’ve failed if I don’t achieve them. When what I want to be doing is appreciating what I have already and enjoying things right now, there in the moment. I’m grateful for everything I have in life, from the husband and family who are always there for me to the everyday things like a bed to sleep in and enjoying a home cooked meal.
Accept myself for who I am
If you’ve read my About Me page, then you’ll know I suffer from a disability and need to use a wheelchair. Truth be told, I need someone to push my wheelchair, even after many years of living with this illness, I still find that hard to deal with. So you can guess how upset I was that I had to turn down a lot of events and social activities, simply because of the complex symptoms that come with a rare neurological disorder.
Find My Confidence Again
The whole reason I started my blog was to post outfit photos because Facebook wasn’t exactly the place to put them. I’m not saying that there will be a fashion post every month, far from it, but I absolutely love styling up an outfit. Most of my clothes are bought from Ebay, Charity shops or reduced right down in the sales, I love finding inspiration on Pinterest and creating a look using my bargain buys. Last year my confidence got up and left the building, possibly social media making me feel like I should dress a certain way or that I wasn’t trendy enough. All credit to the people who can carry off an alternative look or even tuck a jumper in a certain way and make it look cool. On me, it just looks fake, like I’ve tried too hard.
Reconnect With Old Friends
I know friendships drift apart and lives take us down different paths, and I’m fine with that. It’s usually when a friend has a baby and start mixing with other parents who they’ll have far more in common with. You see, I can’t have children, so I have it in my head that they will no longer be interested in what I’ve done. I know that sounds silly, so I’m going to make every effort to message people I’ve lost touch with and spend more time with people who are already in my life. Which reminds me, I have quite a few penpals I need to return letters to.
Try Something New Every Month
I know, it totally contradicts my “no goals” policy for this year, so I’m not going to beat myself up if I miss a month I was 16 when I finished my first crochet blanket, and I was so flippin proud of myself. Since 2016, any new skills I’ve learn have all been blog related, slightly chuffed with myself for figuring out something on WordPress or my way around the camera settings. Yes, blogging is my hobby, but I’d like to try some different things too. I may start with something easy like making a savoury dish instead of baking my usual cakes and biscuits.
Explore New Places
One of the benefits of being married (amongst many others) is that I get to share good times and bad with another person. Adrian and I have visited a lot of places during the time we’ve been together, but there are so many more we’d love to explore. cities, seaside towns, museums, parks or gardens, it really doesn’t matter as long as it’s a new place to visit.
Remember To Read Those Books
Every night before bed, I’d pick up the book I was reading at the time and get through a couple of chapters. Over the last few months, I’ve slipped back into my old ways and watch YouTube instead. That’s all fine and dandy, but I know this has an effect on how well I sleep, whereas reading a book helps to relax me. Plus. I’ve learnt a lot through reading a book.
I am incredibly lucky to have all the things I’ve got. I’m not talking about how big my makeup stash is, or having a wardrobe bursting with clothes, although they do come into it. I mean those every day things I take for granted, a cosy bed, having a nice meal, a hot shower in the morning, a cup of my favourite tea.
I’m not going to put pressure on myself to reach a certain target before a certain date, I’ve even ripped the stats page out of my diary. I’m not going to lose any sleep if I’ve lost followers over night, after gaining 10 the night before. I’m also not going to apologise if my post goes up on Tuesday, instead of a Monday. I’m not the sort of blogger who has followers that are waiting at a certain time, on a set day to read my latest post. It’s only me who puts the pressure on myself to get things done, all the time I’m missing out on being me. Unless something has a specific deadline, real life or blog related, then I’m just going with the flow and taking each day as it comes.
Stress and Worry
I worry far too much about every little thing. I get frustrated really easily, then I get angry with myself if I can’t do something, then I start worrying I’ve over reacted and end up crying. Then I’ll have to hunt for the cat who went running for cover. I’m going to start listening to my relaxation apps again, making time for me again, pamper nights, filling in my scrapbooks or colouring. You know the drill by now. I’m going to enjoy life the best I can.
I am a hoarder. I have this policy where I’ll “Put something to one side, You never know when you might need it.” Doesn’t matter how many times I try and declutter, it ends up cluttered again. This stresses me out then I get extremely frustrated because I can’t find anything. It’s time to get ruthless with everything I have, do I use it or need it, will I ever need it, if not then it’s going to charity or being sold.
I’m feeling great right now, even on days when I feel physically crap, I’m still feeling positive about life. Yes, I have daily struggles, but there’s plenty of other people that do too. I need to tell myself that something’s gone well rather than thinking of the negatives, I need to step back occasionally and remind myself of everything I have got and everything I have achieved in life so far, I need to focus on my own life and taking better care of myself, not worry about what other people are doing. I’m not going to let self doubt creep back in, like it did in 2017, so what if things don’t go quite according to plan, I know I WILL do better next time, but I’ll never know unless I try, will I?